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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Sometimes I think life sucks

I know that's a bit of a strong thing to say especially when they are alot of other people who are in worse situations than I could ever imagine being in or handling. I'm actually pretty lucky with my life when you think about it. I've got a family, friends, an education (more or less), and I'm a good person. However, I might be dramatizing this situation a bit more or less see just a few minutes ago I finished watching a documentary on well...bluntly fathers killing their pregant girlfriends or wives and it kinda got me thinking when the pyschatrists started spouting out reasons for this behavior. Well, to those people I have one thing to say: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR *#*%ING MIND?!

   There are absolutely no excuses for these kind of things! Women can't choose whether or not to have a baby its something that just happens we can't control it anymore than the sun can control where it sets or rises. Men have no say it either nor mothers who don't want their kids! Babies never ask to be born to whom or to what life! No one has any right to take someone's life unless they've been given a trial, a conviction, and a judgement! You can't just do something has horrible as that life is not a toy that you can take anytime, anywhere, and anyhow it's the one true gift that God can give us. What posses people do this sort of evil & sadistic behavior I'll never know and I don't want to know because whether or not this can be excused the person who has taken away someone's life without a just reason has absolutely no other purpose on this Earth except to be punished for what they have done! It doesn't matter what situation they're born in abusive, emotional in-balanced, or God only knows what ele it is no excuse t all! My own father was born into such a situation his father beat him, his mother was a total nutjob, and his sister went the entire "Girl Interupted" phase when she was middle school and lasted straight to college! He, in addition to all that crap, had a disability along with geting beat-up in every school he went to! His father neglected him, left him, his mother, and sister when he was 14, and he even disowned my dad for thinking that he was taking his mother's side againest him! Is that bogus or what? Mom didn't fair any better her father ran off with some hoochie when she was 11, her mother broke down into a million pieces after that and it took her 6 years to get back on her feet while my mom in the meantime had to cook for herself, earn her own money, make her own clothes, take care of her mother, and help figure out how to pay the bills. Last but not least, when her father died that bitch of a stepmother stole every damn thing that rightfully belonged to my mother right down to the last ball of lint!

  As for me, I was born with a disability that made me in a word: a freak! I talked, acted, thought, the entire she-bang like some kind of an alien! They didn't figure what the hell was wrong with until I was 15 in the hospital for attempted suicide! People used to tease me like I was some kind of animal! I was pushed down stairs, assualted in bathrooms, videotaped in the locker room, and rumors spread about me from my school to the internet like wildfire. Worst of all some jerks went as far as to using my desperation for friends and acceptance to make me dance, and sing for them like a puppet! I used to beat-up on my sister for the things I went through, she went through tons of discrimination 'cause of me, guys would ostracize her because she's blonde, and some of her friends would use her as a scapegoat for the pranks they pulled because they knew she would willingly take the blam since she's such a good friend!

   See?! Tons of people go through shit like abuse, depression, temptation of drugs, etc. etc. But as far as I can tell my father hasn't murdered anyone or killed any of his girlfriends. Sure, he may have anger problems nd would go ballastic often when I was kid but he never hit me, nor Heather, or Mom and in the end he got help for himself like therapy and medication. I was bullied like shit ever since I was four (still am as a matter of fact) but I try to keep a lid on my temper and I'd sooner seel my soul to the devil than take a life no matter whom it belonged to whether it was an old bully of mine or someone who traumtizied near to the verge of suicide and showed no remorse what so ever I would still not take his life because I'm not a police officer nor any other member of the judicial system so I have absolutely no right to take a life. Mom may have had problems with her own mother but she doesn't take any of her anger on Heather and me she's always there for us and would never let anything or anyone hurt us. Heather may still be under microscopic scrunity from some punks, and some of her friends do use her for their own selfish purposes but as much I've heard she hasn't taken a life or any of the such pyschotic behavior.

   Bottom line: it doesn't matter what these people went through as children it is no excuse to take a life innocent or in their eyes guilty unless they are law enforcers they have no right to punish someone for a crime. We shouldn't try to understand their reasons because in the end it won't bring back the people we have lost. There are only two choices we can make in those situtions to do the right or wrong thing. I've made my choice to prove to all those losers that thought I could do nothing with my life wrong by not becoming a bad person and making a success out of myself. To others who don't share this view nor have chosen it than I sincerely hope Satan gives you a warm welcome when they send you back to him.

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