Sometimes I think life sucks

I know that's a bit of a strong thing to say especially when they are alot of other people who are in worse situations than I could ever imagine being in or handling. I'm actually pretty lucky with my life when you think about it. I've got a family, friends, an education (more or less), and I'm a good person. However, I might be dramatizing this situation a bit more or less but...you see just a few minutes ago I finished watching a documentary on well...bluntly fathers killing their pregant girlfriends or wives and it kinda got me thinking when the pyschatrists started spouting out reasons for this behavior. Well, to those people I have one thing to say: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR *#*%ING MIND?!

   There are absolutely no excuses for these kind of things! Women can't choose whether or not to have a baby its something that just happens we can't control it anymore than the sun can control where it sets or rises. Men have no say it either nor mothers who don't want their kids! Babies never ask to be born to whom or to what life! No one has any right to take someone's life unless they've been given a trial, a conviction, and a judgement! You can't just do something has horrible as that life is not a toy that you can take anytime, anywhere, and anyhow it's the one true gift that God can give us. What posses people do this sort of evil & sadistic behavior I'll never know and I don't want to know because whether or not this can be excused the person who has taken away someone's life without a just reason has absolutely no other purpose on this Earth except to be punished for what they have done! It doesn't matter what situation they're born in abusive, emotional in-balanced, or God only knows what ele it is no excuse t all! My own father was born into such a situation his father beat him, his mother was a total nutjob, and his sister went the entire "Girl Interupted" phase when she was middle school and lasted straight to college! He, in addition to all that crap, had a disability along with geting beat-up in every school he went to! His father neglected him, left him, his mother, and sister when he was 14, and he even disowned my dad for thinking that he was taking his mother's side againest him! Is that bogus or what? Mom didn't fair any better her father ran off with some hoochie when she was 11, her mother broke down into a million pieces after that and it took her 6 years to get back on her feet while my mom in the meantime had to cook for herself, earn her own money, make her own clothes, take care of her mother, and help figure out how to pay the bills. Last but not least, when her father died that bitch of a stepmother stole every damn thing that rightfully belonged to my mother right down to the last ball of lint!

  As for me, I was born with a disability that made me in a word: a freak! I talked, acted, thought, the entire she-bang like some kind of an alien! They didn't figure what the hell was wrong with until I was 15 in the hospital for attempted suicide! People used to tease me like I was some kind of animal! I was pushed down stairs, assualted in bathrooms, videotaped in the locker room, and rumors spread about me from my school to the internet like wildfire. Worst of all some jerks went as far as to using my desperation for friends and acceptance to make me dance, and sing for them like a puppet! I used to beat-up on my sister for the things I went through, she went through tons of discrimination 'cause of me, guys would ostracize her because she's blonde, and some of her friends would use her as a scapegoat for the pranks they pulled because they knew she would willingly take the blam since she's such a good friend!

   See?! Tons of people go through shit like abuse, depression, temptation of drugs, etc. etc. But as far as I can tell my father hasn't murdered anyone or killed any of his girlfriends. Sure, he may have anger problems nd would go ballastic often when I was kid but he never hit me, nor Heather, or Mom and in the end he got help for himself like therapy and medication. I was bullied like shit ever since I was four (still am as a matter of fact) but I try to keep a lid on my temper and I'd sooner seel my soul to the devil than take a life no matter whom it belonged to whether it was an old bully of mine or someone who traumtizied near to the verge of suicide and showed no remorse what so ever I would still not take his life because I'm not a police officer nor any other member of the judicial system so I have absolutely no right to take a life. Mom may have had problems with her own mother but she doesn't take any of her anger on Heather and me she's always there for us and would never let anything or anyone hurt us. Heather may still be under microscopic scrunity from some punks, and some of her friends do use her for their own selfish purposes but as much I've heard she hasn't taken a life or any of the such pyschotic behavior.

   Bottom line: it doesn't matter what these people went through as children it is no excuse to take a life innocent or in their eyes guilty unless they are law enforcers they have no right to punish someone for a crime. We shouldn't try to understand their reasons because in the end it won't bring back the people we have lost. There are only two choices we can make in those situtions to do the right or wrong thing. I've made my choice to prove to all those losers that thought I could do nothing with my life wrong by not becoming a bad person and making a success out of myself. To others who don't share this view nor have chosen it than I sincerely hope Satan gives you a warm welcome when they send you back to him.

Kindle Author: Kindle Author Interview: L.A. Jones

Kindle Author: Kindle Author Interview: L.A. Jones: "L.A. Jones, author of Tales of Arcadia the Last Witch , discusses her book, her journey as a writer, and self-publishing on Kindle. DAVID ..."

Tongue piercing causes disease

  Kim and I went to see an Anime Convention today! It was sooo cool! We saw all kinds of neat art, costumes, and merchandise I was even able to finally buy a keychain of Kouga from Inu Yasha you know the wolf demon dude (I adore him!)We also played "spot the character" with the people wearing costumes in hushed voices so no one would notice or be insulted but some did give us a few stares but hey they're the ones dressed up like cartoons. Basically, that was all I did today but I gotta admit that I am worried about something. There's this class I'm taking called Reading & Writing Adv. (a pre-requisite thing so I didn't nessarily choose it) and I've been absent quite often hell I've already used my four absences for the rest of the semester but hey I'm still new at this stupid college system thing so it isn't that unbelievable. But I've been keeping up with the class, pretty dedicated to my work, and the teacher is impressed with my performance so at least I have a sporting chance of not being dropped from the class besides why would I want to miss anymore of them the only reasons why I missed the others was 'cause I was tired but from now on I won't ever miss a class and should a doctor's appt. or something come up I'll just reschedule it.

    Heather's doing okay I supposed but things are still bad between her and that asshole of a human male A.J. GRRRR If I knew what this guy looked like I would march straight up to him, and kick him so hard that he's gonna wish for the rest of his life that he was born a girl! Damned jerk! How dare he treat my sister like some kind of toy?! I wish I could give him a piece of my mind and my fist to wash it down with. But hey he's Heather's BGF (Best Guy Friend) so it's gotta be her decision of what happens besides she's got a good head on her shoulders. People might not realize it especially Mom and Dad but Heather is a very smart girl and no matter she choice she makes she always makes sure that its the right one. Sure she's had her problems like rebelliousness, sketchy friends, marijuana, alchol, and deliberately disobeying orders like not getting her tongue pierced or nose but all teenagers go through that one way or another. She may have exprienced that crap but while others have totally lost themselves along with their futures Heather has kept at her school work, not skipped any classes save a few at random times, not lost her place on the honor roll, gone on to anything stronger like heroin, crack etc. and when Mom asked her to take the piercing out of her tongue she did just that because of two things one) Mom explained how much she hated it. two)having your tongue pierced can cause you to have a heart attack at an early age.

Here's a link for further proof

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15305276/ns/health-health_care/t/teens-tongue-piercing-causes-suicide-disease/
Entitled Teen's tongue piercing causes ‘suicide disease’
Severely painful nerve disorder the latest on list of complications

An interesting week indeed

 Mom & Heather are supposed to come home from London today! I can't wait to see 'em! I hope they had a good time because Mom had to go there for a business trip, and Heather's been going through alot of crap with her friends hence accompaning Mom to the U.K to get some relaxation.
Still, I hope Heather had a good time in England Lord knows she could use a break it is after all her JUNIOR year (the most brutal year of High School) and she's been under tons of pressure not only from her studies but her grades, choosing colleges, requirements for graduation, and especially the new SAT! Poor thing I really do feel sorry for her and I pray that she'll be able to get through this with her sanity still  intacted. Although, Heather & Mom went to England by themselves and I stayed at home I mangaed to have a good time just as well because even though Mom does trust me she thoughht someone should stay at home to look after me. So my cousin Justin, and his girlfriend came to stay the week at our house. We had a great time too! Lissa (Justin's girlfriend) was very nice, and I enjoyed getting to know her as much I got to know Justin. Dad's family is from the West Coast (California) and even though he lives in Washington D.C. on the East Coast his sister, and two cousins still live there. Only reason Dad lives so far away is because he works for the central government so he needs to be near the place its located. Case in point: Washington D.C. the nation's capitol the irony is that he works for the foreign service so it really doesn't matter if he lives near Washington because he always ends up going tens of thousands of miles away from it. Its no picinic living far away from my cousins I admit especially when I was younger and wanted to spend time with them. But we've managed to keep in touch over the years heck when my family and I moved to Egypt they still sent their presents to us for Christmas despite the huge postal cost and the international red tape that they must've gone through. Also, when my Dad got sick and even though it was right in the middle of the year so my aunts, and uncles were undoubtly swamped with work they called ever chance they could to talk to Dad, comfort Heather, me and especially my Mom, and visit us! Sure they may not be the greatest family considering the hostility that exists between them and my mother. My dad was the youngest nephew and son of the true tie to the family, my grandmother Emily, so when he suddenly showed up with a complete stranger attached to his arm and a ring on his finger... well, needless to say there was a tiny bit of apprehension. Its funny, however, because even though my mom and dad were the first ones in the family to get married they were the last to have children!  My Aunt Chrissy, and Uncle Mike became the first parents so it shouldn't be too suprising since she's my Dad's older sister and was the competetive type. But its not like she got married for that reason alone because my dad and her parents had gone through a REALLY messy divorce so when probably she and Uncle Mike decided to get married she wanted to absolutely sure that their marriage would last. Dad did mention to me that Aunt Chrissy had dated alot before she settled down and the reason was most defintely being positive that she was marrying the right person. Funnily enough, my mom and dad had gotten married whenever they were much younger then my cousin Justin and his girlfriend they were still very careful about their decision because they both came from divorced families. A blessing in disguise I must say because if Mom hadn't know the consequences of divorce she and Dad may have not been able to work things out as well they did.

   I gotta admit it was a weird exprience having my cousin stay over with his girlfriend because whenever I talked to Lissa (his girlfriend's name) I starteed wondering about the possibility of us eventually becoming in-laws. I know its way too earlt to tell way, way, wayyyyy too early. After all, both she and my cousin just moved here from California and Colorado and they're still trying to make good on their budget and living conditions. They both jobs so work is definitely not going to be a big problem. In fact, the reason why Justin moved here in the first place is because he's been cursed with the same ambition and dream as Dad. An ambition, a dream not to mention an intense love of international conflicts and travel.  Its also pretty funny that only does Justin want to become a foreign service worker like my dad he acts, talks hell even thinks so much like him that if I wasn't postive he was my cousin I'd think he's my Dad's illegitmate son! Why am I postive? Because chances it would take less time for hell itself to freeze over than for my Dad to even consider having an affair. He's crazy about mom and although Aunt Chrissy may be the one that can completely control him my mother would just have to ask my Dad once for him to walk all around the entire Earth 5 times just to pick her favorite flower. Mom may not appear to have the same obession of Dad as he with her but to tell the tuth Mom would gladly sell her soul to the Devil himself than for Dad not to be her husband for just one day.

   Dad called me yesterday, come to think of it, he just wanted to check up on me and see if I was doing okay. I am okay but I must confess I miss him so much. Its just not the same with Dad not being here its like a huge part of my life has been cut straight out of me. But hey, I'm going to see him soon enough in March to be specific for spring break and I'll spend it entirely with him in Jakarta and in Bali. I simply cannot wait! I've even begun taking requests from my friends if they would like for me to get them something when I go. I've also bought a scrapbook to record and save mementos for my time spent with Dad.